i found this pretty interesting:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/parents-who-hate-parenting-the-latest-trend-2466533/;_ylt=AuSfyBXv9Mz0TBB_yNhNxG5abqU5
the article is about how some parents just don't like parenting (or at least occasionally dislike it). i understand, believe me. i've only got one and sometimes on a particularly challenging day i'm ready to throw in the towel. these aren't parents who abandon their children or beat them or neglect them or anything like that, but they certainly aren't amy chua with her dragon mother nonsense. the author, Lylah Alphonse, interviewed a woman who co-authored a book called "Mothers Need Time-outs, Too," and gave a list of suggestions to keep moms from going cukoo bananas (taken directly from the article):

1. Give yourself a break—you don't need to be so hard on yourself.
2. Just say no! What are your real priorities?
3. Take time to write it down. Journaling will bring clarity to your life.
4. Slow down and savor living in the moment.
5. Plug into your kids so you can really connect with them.
6. Don't forget about your husband—intimacy is life-affirming!
7. Reach out beyond your family. It will enrich everyone.
8. Make your physical and mental health a priority.
9. Is more always better? Simplify everything.
10. Be a little selfish—you deserve it, and it will make you a better mother.

I mean, it all makes a lot of sense. no one is perfect. none of us has the perfect house, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect shape, the perfect husband, the perfect car, the perfect kids, whatever. we're not all gourmet cooks. we're not always full of energy. but nevertheless we try to do everything (and make our kids do everything too) and we spread ourselves too thin. i think that living a slower-paced lifestyle and limiting our exposure to a ton of extraneous activities is ideal. simplicity is ideal. also, journalling usually helps most situations. i take issue with number 10, however. i don't like using the "i deserve it" excuse, because life's not fair and we can't always get what we deserve. i feel like i deserve a beach house, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna get one. sure, it would make me a better mom (obviously...what kid doesn't want a mom with a beach house?), but not really in the way that it should. to me, taking a few minutes for yourself doesn't constitute being selfish. it's realistic. however, if i start begin really selfish and justifying it by saying that i deserve it, well then eventually not only will it go too far, but i won't really deserve it after a while anyway (that whole argument being a vicious cycle and all).
i think that the issue of perfectionism is super-dangerous for women anyway, especially now in the era of HGTV, food network, party planners and $15,000. birthday parties for kids. there are these ridiculous standards across the board for parenting and homemaking, not to mention the unattainable standards (of intelligence, personal appearance, time management, etc.) to which women are already held. we can't be all things. i don't know why we try, aside from the fact that it is not only expected but practically required. i know that i am an excellent baker. but am i a great housekeeper? not a chance. my mother is a hard-working woman who is terrific at her job. but can she cook? not a thing. for years women have beat themselves up over things like this, but i think it's time to embrace it. i do keep to some basic standards of cleanliness, especially now with a baby in the house. the dishes get done in a timely manner, i do the laundry, and i try to keep the floor clean and surfaces clear. anything beyond that is a bonus. my mom? she splits up meal prep between herself, my dad, and my sister so that everybody is responsible. i think that's how it should be. what we can't do, we should acknowledge and delegate appropriately (if i learned nothing else in the business world, it is the importance of delegating tasks and responsibility. it is also useful in event planning). since we are raised to do a little of everything, we do nothing really well. if we focus on our talents and just do our best at the rest, that should be enough.
does that mean that i think i should hire a maid service because i'm not good at cleaning and "i deserve it"? no (but sometimes i think that it would be nice), but as long as i keep the house livable, know what my husband needs (if he needs a clean house, he married the wrong woman, but i'll try my damnedest), understand what i need and try to live up to my own standards, i should be set.
but i also agree with ms. alphonse in that women raised today are not really prepared for the reality of child-rearing. they might have spent some time in a career while romanticizing the stay-at-home mom bit and, once the baby came, realized that that the fantasy was much more idyllic than what actually happens when they spend all day at home. the modern woman "having it all" just isn't a reality. there is too much pressure and too many obstacles for it to be worth it. a career is nice and a family is nice, but if your whole heart is in one of those things it seems incredibly unfair to the other. unfortunately, there is never an even split.
do i think that the rewards of staying home with a family are worth it? hell yeah. whenever i watch my little one learn something new or play with the kittens or yell "mama" i know that i'm doing right by her. but do i wish that someone had warned me ahead of time that staying at home can kind of suck? or that kids can sometimes be terrible? and that some days are not rewarding so much as monotonous? obviously. it's just nice to know that other parents feel the same way.